(This is part of the Slice of Life Challenge with Two Writing Teachers. We write about small moments each and every day for March. You come, too. Write with us.)
I didn’t even know she was there, in the audience. It was only later, after she tweeted out some pictures of my band playing at the regional fair one hot summer day that I understood that she had, indeed, made the drive, paid the admission for the fair, watched us perform, and then left before I could come out and say hello.
@dogtrax Packed house! pic.twitter.com/iEIeJ6q0
— Jenn Cook (@cookout70) September 1, 2012
Yesterday, I learned that my friend, Jenn Cook, the director of the Rhode Island Writing Project, had been killed in a terrible accident on Friday. It’s difficult to express the sadness, even though we only met in person a few times. Our online interactions over music and writing and technology and just plain humorous anecdotes made Jenn a person I looked for in my online spaces.
The loss hang heavy over me.
Yesterday, I went to her Twitter feed, as a way to move backwards in her timeline. You might think it sort of odd to do that but I found it comforting to be reading her lines and seeing her images, and feeling her presence. Her last posts were about taking care of her ailing father, but there were pictures of dogs and snow and making digital compositions, and teaching pre-service teachers. Not long ago, Jenn and I were fellow guests on a NWP Radio program about the Making Learning Connected MOOC, where Jenn was a participant who used the ethos of CLMOOC to transform her writing project’s work. As always, she was articulate and passionate and excited about learning.
How does one keep the presence of an online friend alive after they have gone? I don’t know. I’ve set up a Team in my Kiva site, to start funneling donations to needy projects in Jenn’s name. I invite you to join me with the ForJenn team, but I will be happy even if it a team of one (me), for each time donations go out, I will be reminded of Jenn. I will be looking for education and youth projects to support, and if there is a musical element, even better. She would have liked that.
And a prose poem, too. How else to deal with loss than with some words in verse?
forJenn by Dogtrax
Peace (in the mourning),
Kevin
What a somber start to the day, but I’m thankful you shared this. Sometimes people ask me if my virtual PLN is made up of “real friends”. I assure them that the people I know here are important to me, real and true.
I love the idea of the Kiva fund.
I’ve been grappling with that same issue, too. Jenn and I were mostly friends in online spaces, yet friendship runs deep there. She was a real friend in all the ways that I think about connections that are meaningful to me.
Kevin
It does not really matter if you meet someone once or twice, friendships are formed when the meeting is right. We mourn people both close and far away. You honoring Jen with your words and with the Kiva fund, she would be pleased. Write some more words, play some music, and maybe she will inspire you even more.
Oh Kevin, I am so sorry! Losing a friend hits hard and I feel the weight of your grief. Your poem and your Kiva donations honor her and honor your friendship. There are no words to make this better…but we are here…your friends! Saying a prayer for Jenn and for you today!!
I’m so sorry, Kevin. Your words are beautiful, but I grieve the loss you – and her family – are experiencing.
I’m sorry for your loss, Kevin, and from the beautiful words you wrote, I imagine it will be a loss for many. It’s lovely that you’re doing something in her memory, will help others grieve and her family will appreciate it.
An elegy for Jenn: http://zeega.com/163585 We follow her in more ways than one.
Thank you.
Kevin,
Thank you for your beautiful words about my wife. She thought and spoke so highly of you. You were a true compatriot–you “got her.”
Moira (@msmecoco)
Thank you, Moira, for stopping by. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Kevin
Sorry for your loss — the digital/social media connections are stronger than we would have imagined a year ago. You do truly feel as if you know people. So nice you are finding a cause to honor her.
Thank you for sharing
Clare and Tammy
What a tribute to your friend and colleague. It is interesting how we live on not only in memories, but also as our virtual selves.
Kevin, I am so sorry for your loss. And, as a fellow wordsmith…there are none for situations such as these. You memorialized her beautifully in this poem. The layout, as transcendent as your thoughts. Thinking of you now and in the days ahead.
This is absolutely beautiful, Kevin. I am sorry for your loss and the sadness her family is experiencing. Your words show this was the truest kind of friendship. I am so glad you both shared this connection even if it was cut short.
Thank you to everyone who left such kind comments. I appreciate it.
Kevin
hi kevin im mick a good friend of jenn cook.Kevin i can see why jen liked you . those words about our friend are beautiful. Keep up the good work.the beautiful words that describe Jenn should be written,should be recorded.jenn could always appreciate talent
Your piece made me smile. I love that she drove to see your band. Thank you for sharing.
This is beautiful, Kevin. She was my friend and I am so sad that she is gone. No words…