Bird Music created by DALL-E
I tried an experiment that sort of pits different Artificial Intelligence Chatbots against each other through poetry and revision, asking one Chat to revise the work of another Chat, and seeing where the words would go.
First, I used a site called AI Poem Generator and gave it a general prompt with no further instructions:
Write a poem about listening to birds on a Spring morning.
The results from AI Poem Generator:
As I awaken to the dawn’s soft light,
The sweet sounds of spring take flight,
Birds outside my window singing with glee,
Making their sweet melody for all to see.Chirping, trilling, and tweets,
Echoing through the morning streets,
Melodies of hope, love and bliss,
On this spring morning, nothing’s amiss.Their songs fill my heart with joy,
As I listen to them without any ploy,
I watch them flutter, chirp and sway,
On this perfect spring morning, starting my day.With each whistle, hum, and tune,
I feel like I’m in an enchanted cocoon,
Their songs a symphony so divine,
A true work of Mother Nature’s design.So I close my eyes and take it all in,
A spring morning such a beautiful spin,
I thank the birds for their sweet melody,
And for bringing such joy and harmony.
Reflection: I wasn’t all that impressed and the rhymes for the couplets really seemed forced to me, particularly as I read the stanzas aloud. And phrases like “enchanted cocoon” and “any ploy” seemed really jarring to my ears. This definitely felt like a rhyming dictionary was at work, composing verse.
I took that poem and asked ChatGPT to revise it for me, which it did.
The results from ChatGPT:
As I awaken to the gentle light of dawn,
The springtime sounds, a melodic fawn,
Birds outside my window, singing with glee,
Their symphony of melodies, for all to see.Chirping, trilling, and tweeting so bright,
Echoing through the streets in sheer delight,
Notes of hope, love, and pure bliss,
On this spring morning, nature’s perfect kiss.Their songs fill my heart with boundless joy,
As I listen without any ploy,
I watch them flutter, chirp, and sway,
Starting my day in nature’s grand display.With each whistle, hum, and sweet tune,
I feel embraced in an enchanted cocoon,
Their melodies, a symphony divine,
A masterpiece of Mother Nature’s design.So I close my eyes and take it all in,
This spring morning, a pristine spin,
I thank the birds for their sweet serenade,
For bringing joy and harmony, a nature-made parade.
Reflection: This was slightly better than the first iteration – “symphony of melodies” is a nice bit of phrasing and I did like the ol’ switcheroo of words in the first line here but “melodic fawn” and “pristine spin” later on as a couplet companions did not work for me — yet ChatGPT’s phrasings still had the wooden rhythm and forced rhyming of a predictive-text poem (which, of course, it is).
Then I took ChatGPT’s revision of the AI Poem Generator output, and asked Google’s Bard AI to revise it even further. As with the other steps, my only instructions were to “revise this poem” without any specific details or parameters.
The results from Bard:
Awakening to Spring
As dawn breaks through the darkness,
I hear the birds’ sweet song,
A melody of hope and joy,
That fills my heart with glee.The birds chirp and trill,
Their voices rising in the air,
A chorus of praise to nature,
On this beautiful spring morning.I watch them flutter and sway,
As they dance in the breeze,
A celebration of life,
In all its beauty and wonder.I close my eyes and listen,
To the music of the birds,
And I am transported to another world,
A world of peace and harmony.I am grateful for the birds,
And for their gift of song,
A reminder that even in the darkest of times,
There is always hope.
Reflection: OK, so interestingly, Bard added a title without being asked, then avoided the couplet rhyming of the other two chat engines, and went for a more free-flow free-verse style of poem. I liked that, for it make it feel less machine-like. Bard also generated more interesting phrasing – “a chorus of praise to nature” and the last two lines were evocative of something larger in the poem.
And in one final reversal, I took Bard’s poem and asked ChatGPT to critique it as a work of poetry.
The results:
Overall, the poem “Awakening to Spring” paints a vivid and uplifting picture of the arrival of spring through the perspective of the birds’ song. The imagery is clear and evocative, bringing to life the sights and sounds of a spring morning. The poem conveys a sense of renewal, hope, and appreciation for the beauty of nature.
One suggestion for improvement is to consider varying the language and imagery used throughout the poem to add more depth and complexity. For example, instead of using generic terms like “hope” and “joy,” consider using more specific and unique language to create a more distinct and memorable impression. Additionally, you could experiment with different poetic techniques, such as metaphor, simile, or personification, to add layers of meaning and enhance the emotional impact of the poem.
Another suggestion is to pay attention to the rhythm and meter of the poem. While free verse can be effective, incorporating some form of consistent rhythm or meter can add musicality and flow to the poem. This can be achieved through experimenting with syllable count, line length, and the use of poetic devices like alliteration or assonance.
Lastly, consider exploring deeper emotions or themes related to the awakening of spring. The poem touches on hope and gratitude, but there could be an opportunity to delve into more complex emotions or explore deeper philosophical or existential ideas. This could add intellectual and emotional depth to the poem, making it more thought-provoking and resonant with the reader.
Overall, “Awakening to Spring” is a lovely poem that captures the beauty and spirit of spring. With some fine-tuning and further exploration, it has the potential to become an even more powerful and evocative piece of poetry.
Bard thanks you, ChatGPT.
Peace (Poems and Bots),
Kevin
